The luxury of time

I think I have been looking forward to this in-between-job period for quite some time. Ever since I joined the company back in California, I've had my fears, so we've been diligently saving. Maybe not as aggressively as we could have, but compared to some, we are in pretty good shape. We relocated to the Midwest for its low housing costs, live in a house that I could easily cover with the paycheck I was getting, bought our now eight-year-old car with cash almost five years ago, do a lot of shopping at the thrift store, don't vary much in our grocery shopping habits--all that sort of frugal living. We contribute to various retirement accounts and best of all, we've been contributing to Coverdell Education Savings Accounts for the boys for years. We've paid a lot out-of-pocket this year for school and other classes, so we can use this account to cover those costs.

With our money buffer, I have the luxury of time. I don't have to panic about making ends meet and look for anything that will pay the bills. Instead, I can put career growth before paying the bills for now.

I am also using this time to work on getting some kind of balance with the boys and with the home.

Reflecting on my past way of doing things, I see that one of the road blocks to my getting things done and being "present" is the persistent chaos around the home. You might even say that work was my way of escaping that chaos. I understand that it is difficult to be the stay-at-home parent, but it's not easy to be the at-work parent either. When you are the at-work parent, you are expected to shift gears easily. Engage at work then engage at home.

Here's my problem. It's really, really difficult for me to engage at home at the end of the day. I am basically an introvert and need quiet time to recharge so when work is done I need to shut down. My guilty admission is that I really liked traveling for work because the end of my work day was the end of my work day and while I might have been calling or emailing people, I was not beginning another bout of negotiation and action, like getting unwilling children to brush. I could read or watch television, iron my clothes...the extravagance!

Secondly, what home with two young boys is not going to be... disorganized? When clothes, toys, and food are intermingled focus can be challenging. It's not just them, of course. Fat Tony and I also tend towards disorder.

On one hand you might say, "C'est la vie." On the other, I fear we may be unintentionally teaching our boys patterns that will make their adult lives more difficult. They might not be able to see the world in the way most do and are unable to relate to others well, might not be armed with a work-hard ethic, might not have the self-confidence and persistence to overcome challenges, might grow up with unacceptable (sloppy) behaviors that will make incorporating in society difficult. By being poor examples of how to take command of our surroundings, I am afraid we are in the process of raising two future homeless people.

Perhaps this is alarmist thinking. Another more pragmatic reason to change things is to make our lives easier. When there is a system, there is less ruminating about what to do. We can easily find things like, oh for example, the receipt and UPC label for the circular saw so we can register for the lifetime warranty.

So with my new-found time, I am going to invest in working on ways to make things better.

1. Engage with the boys.
Playing with them more would be a great start. Sadly, I am not the most fun, but I will try harder.

2. Declutter.
I do my best not to acquire things because letting go of them is difficult for me. I hold on to stuff. Those badge holders from conferences? Can't throw them out. Outgrown socks with no match? I might find it's missing half and then we can donate a usable pair.

Plus, I am not the only one that envisions what an item's life is like after I've parted with it? Sitting in a landfill, or dumped at sea? If there is some way I can find to make an item useful, don't I have some kind of responsibility to do it?

Because the rationalization for keeping things falls in line with frugal living, this resolution is the toughest.

3. Systemize household tasks.
I don't believe I really know how to run a house or ever understood how things "should" be done or sometimes even why. For whatever reasons, I just never got what homemaking was about. Now that I am a home owner, things are clicking and I feel like I am playing catch up with the rest of the world.

So I am taking little steps like making sure we have a place for measuring cups and spoons and making sure Fat Tony knows as well so he can put them in the same place. Yes, we have a long way to go because Fat Tony and I are organizationally challenged. We don't have a coach here to set us straight if we are deviating from plan, so it's up to us to police ourselves. Hello Excel spreadsheets!

3. Exercise more.
I was on a kick, running at least fifteen miles a week on our treadmill. Then our treadmill broke and we didn't fix it for months. Now I've got a persistent pain in my back and a growing beer belly. With all my free time, Fat Tony and I took the treadmill apart and fixed the problem. This is also something that can tie back to engaging with the boys. Our boys see us sitting at the computer all the time, not outside. We need to set a better example.

4. Find things I love doing.
Like writing a blog. I've always dreamed of having my own business, but I've always let outside circumstances control what I do. What was the point of studying for college, when I had no idea what I wanted to learn? Why did I spent weekends and nights working and thinking about the company's goals? I've been working for other people for far too long, doing things I didn't care about. If I don't find the things I love doing now and invest the time into becoming great at them, I will never find that future business.

That's it for now. To keep myself in line I will be reporting on my progress here.