Persistence and Insanity

I get up in the morning, get my water or coffee and sit down in my office to study Chinese and then programming.

7:30 rolls around and I go downstairs to help with the morning routine and then...I should be job hunting.

The economy is bad. Chicago, Lake County, and Rockford, areas that surround us have the dubious distinction of making it on to the Forbes Most Miserable Cities list. Last night, at a networking event for a local association (the light in the dark of this job hunt), a fellow job hunter said that her husband has recently lost his job as well. He worked for a start-up and the backer pulled, so no severance package for him. Yeah, it's bad here.

For all my hopes about our future here in the Chicago area, I see it will be very challenging. 

Everyday I sit down and think about how I will get the next job. I write cover letters and try to tailor my resume, but clearly, this process is not working. In effect, I am doing the same thing with the same results. I am being persistent or insane?

This is turning into an excruciating exercise and the fear of failing is literally eating away at me.  I need to set aside all the recent misses and conduct my job search as if I am the best thing since strawberry ice cream. But inside, my doubts keep niggling at me and I just want to give up. I've tried here, I've tried there. The recruiters and hiring managers want candidates that fit the description to a "T". They all have reasons I don't fit the bill. And I keep thinking they are right. I can't even "settle" for a job that I am overqualified for because I am overqualified.

So I am in a quandry. How to get out of this rut??? What can I do differently?

One of the great struggles for any job seeker, and I am no exception, is to keep one's mind from wandering into Doubtville. It's so easy to get there and to linger. It's like the Hotel California, but maybe easier to leave. I have been thinking about how to get out of there and I think the key is to simply pretend I am a relentless do-er. I say to myself, yeah, I'm that person (pick some role models) and Just Do It. Basically, my strategy now is to fake it. I plan on doing some more resume reverse-engineering, less cover letter writing, more positivity (through faking it), and more planning on the next-next thing. I am no longer worrying about money or health care. I have faith they will take care of themselves if I follow this plan.

I still get down when I'm told I don't fit. Last time it happened, I told the recruiter that's too bad, presented my argument for why I think I would be excellent and then privately wished the company goes to hell. I keep them on a list and send them bad thoughts. Makes me feel better, what can I say?

How is this different from before? From the outside, it probably doesn't seem that different. On this inside, what I am doing is turning off that voice saying outsiders' opinions of my resume and me are correct. Now I am saying, too bad for you and moving on.